My friend, Michelle, on blogger gave me this award. Thank you, Michelle! You brightened my day. I found her through a poem she wrote, and the friendship grew. I am honoured to be on her friends list, never mind her thinking my blog is worth reading. If anyone deserves this award, she does. Her blogs are not only very readable, but speak to the heart. She's 'good people' : ) I would give her the award, but she already has it. I do know that I need to find people to give this award to. Shouldn't be hard... there are some amazing bloggers on my list.

First off, what do I look for in a blog? I like blogs where I can see a little of the soul of the writer. I like personal blogs, not blogs copied from the latest e-mail or news report, though I do happily read those too. I like blogs that tell me about your life and where you are. I like blogs that let me connect to a person on the other end. Herewith, a few, who, in my opinion, for various reasons, deserve the "Excellent blog award".

1. Kippy - Kippy always has something thought-provoking to offer, and often fun too, not to mention the visual appeal of her photography
2. Heather - Her photos and words have a deep emotional appeal. On most things, we speak the same language. Her blog is for contacts only though
3. Eileen - Her world is just so different and she presents it in an entertaining and very readable way. Her art is a joy to experience
4. Lisa - Fun and funky. Her world is multicoloured, much like her little car. Her blogs are never less than fascinating
5. Port Elizabeth Daily Photo - because the place means so much to me and the photos are sooo well worth it!
   
   
6. Libby - Open, honest. If anyone can look on the bright side, it is her and she cooks the most fascinating food. Reading about her travels would be enough to have me going back
7. Catherine - a relatively new friend. I love her blogging style. She takes the punches life gives in her stride and laughs at them. I love her outlook on life. Just her avatar makes me smile

I've been in a major slump these past few weeks. Waking up in the morning has been tough. Holding a conversation has been tough. In fact, pretty much everything has been tough. When I get like this, its hard pulling myself out. I do get to a point though, where I see a glimmer of light or at least a patch that isn't as dark as the rest. At that point, I know that its up to me to get myself out of the hole I'm in, so I go on a hunt for anything that is remotely mood-lifting.

Here is what I found....

I found friends

I found inspiring photography

I found upbuilding and positive sites: Gimundo.com, Care2.com, Zaadz.com

I found music

I found inspirational thoughts, poems and quotes....

Moving through darkness - The places we go

In life, most of us want things to go to the places we have envisioned ourselves going. We have plans and visions, some of them divinely inspired, that we want to see through to completion. We want to be happy, successful, and healthy, all of which are perfectly natural and perfectly human. So when life takes us to places we didn’t consciously want to go, we often feel as if something has gone wrong, or we must have made a mistake somewhere along the line, or any number of other disheartening possibilities. This is just life’s way of taking us to a place we need to go for reasons that go deeper than our own ability to reason. These hard knocks and trials are designed to shed light on our unconscious workings and deepen our experience of reality.

Often it takes something major to wake us up, to shake us loose from our ego’s grip as it struggles to maintain an illusion of control. It is loss of control more than anything else that humbles us and enables us to see the big picture. It reminds us that the key to the universe lies in what we do not know, and what we do know is a small fraction of the great mystery in which we live. This awareness softens and lightens us, as we release our resistance to what is. Another gift gleaned from going to these seemingly undesirable places is that, in our response to difficulty, we can see all the patterns and unresolved emotional baggage that stand in the way of our unconditional joyfulness. Joy exists within us independently of whether things go our way or not. And when we don’t feel it, we can trust that we will find it if we are willing to surrender to the situation, moving through it as we move through our difficult feelings.

We can take our inspiration from any fairy tale that finds its central character lost in a dark wood, frightened and alone. We know that the journey through the wood provides its own kind of beauty and richness. On the other side, we will emerge transformed, lighter and brighter, braver and more confident for having moved through that darkness.

I rather like the idea of taking my inspiration, for now, from any fairy tale where the main character is lost in a dark wood. Wonder if I'll find a gingerbread house, a wolf... or something more fantastic and mystical. Hm... I think I'll settle for the fantastic and mystical ;)

I receive a newsletter from Michael Stanier of "Box of Crayons". I thought I'd share what I read this morning. The article is on how to accept a "no" as opposed to the many articles we see on how to say "no".

I did the recommended 'exercise' of putting those who love you in a circle around you. I noticed that my circle was really tiny and the only reason I could make a circle at all was because I filled the gaps with animals. I do believe that says something about me. It's a good exercise anyway... worth a try.

Herewith the article, written by Michael Neill:

It's all very well to be able to say no. But almost as difficult as saying 'no' is hearing it. How easy it is to make up all sorts of reasons why you've been rejected. In this edition of Outside the Lines, I offer the following article by Michael Neill, who gives you the three reasons why someone might say no to you and how to prepare yourself to hear each type.

"Every communication is either an act of love or a cry for help."
-from 'A Course in Miracles'

"Steve Hardison is a somewhat legendary figure in the coaching world, not only for his incredible effectiveness but also for the jaw dropping fees he charges and his ability to ask pretty much anyone for pretty much anything.

One of my favourite stories about him dates back to his time as a missionary for the Mormon church. One time, Steve had gone up to a house and began speaking about the church's teachings with a man who answered the door. While no doubt he had experienced doors being slammed many times over the years, this man went a step further and actually punched him in the face and Steve's nose began to bleed. Without missing a beat, he asked the man for a towel to help stop the bleeding so they could continue their conversation.

What is it that allows one person to ask and ask and ask for what they want while others stop themselves before even popping the very first question?

One answer is that it's our ability to not take the word "no" personally, no matter how dramatically that "no" may be delivered. And one of the things that can make it considerably easier to do this is to know that that response invariably comes
from one of three places:

1. Fear that you will "make" them hear something they don't want to hear or do something they don't want to do.

2. A lack of information or understanding of how what you're asking will be of benefit to them either directly or indirectly.

3. A genuine awareness on their part that they do not want to be, do, or have what you are requesting.

If their response is coming from fear, you don't have to take it personally because it is about their internal state, not you or your external request. If it's coming from a lack of information, it's still impersonal - it's up to you whether or not to continue until they have enough information to make an informed decision. If they're saying "no" because they really don't want to, it's still nothing to do with you - it's simply a statement from them to them about their willingness to trust their own intuition, awareness and inner knowing.

So why do we take "no" so personally?

Because when we make our requests, we tend to put our self-image and self-esteem and even physical survival on the line along with whatever it is we are requesting. Instead of simply asking for the sale, the job, or their hand in marriage, our self-directed subtext gets rolled into the question and what we are actually asking goes a little something like this:

"Would you please do as I'm requesting *and* approve of me, affirm me as a human being, ensure I have enough money to survive and let me know I'm worthy of your acceptance?"

That's a tall order for anyone, let alone someone you've never met before!

Here's a simple exercise I call "the circle" which will help you to prepare for any request you want to make without making or taking things personally...

Today's Experiment:

1. Imagine you are sitting in the very center of a circle.

2. Now, imagine that all the people who love and care for you take their place in that circle and are looking directly at you in a loving way.

Don't limit yourself to "reality" - your circle can include people from your past, present and future; it can include pets, characters from books and movies, even divine beings. Keep filling the circle until you feel almost overwhelmed with an absolute knowing that no matter what you do or don't do, you are loved exactly the way that you are.

3. When you're ready, imagine someone you want to make a request of standing outside of the circle. Continue to feel the love and care of your circle as you ask them for what you want from them and for them.

Once you've got the experience of being safely inside, there are a number of fun ways of making use of the circle to recondition your thinking about how easy it can be to ask for what you want:

*From within your circle, imagine the person says "no" out of fear that you'll somehow "make" them do something. Can you see their fear? How else could you respond to put them at their ease?

*Now, imagine them saying "no" because they don't have enough information. What could you do to make sure they really know how much what you are asking will do for them, directly or indirectly?

*Imagine they are saying "no" because they simply don't want to. Tune back into the loving faces and energy in your circle until you can hear that "no" and know it cannot harm you in any way, shape or form. Then imagine yourself asking person after person again and again until some begin to enthusiastically say "yes" to your request!

*What's the worst thing you can imagine someone saying or doing in response to your request? Is it someone punching you in the face? Shouting at you? Pointing at you and laughing and whispering to their friends?

Whatever it is, connect with the energy of your circle and watch them do what they do, knowing that it is nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own unhappiness, confusion and misunderstanding.

4. Take your circle with you into the world. Tune back into it in the moments before you approach anyone about anything until you know that no matter what happens, you are safe, you are valued and you are loved."

© Michael Neill and Genius Catalyst 2007

I get a newsletter in my mailbox, "The Daily Om". Today's article was interesting and gave me plenty of food for thought. Tell me what you think on the subject.

The photo above is significant for me because it was taken at a time when I had serious 'letting go' issues and Tat had 'let me make my own mistakes' issues. We try so hard to be good parents and sometimes in our trying, end up tripping over our own shoe laces.

Allowing Our Children To Be
Practicing Nonattachment

Parenting asks us to rise to some of the most difficult challenges this world has to offer, and one of its greatest paradoxes arises around the issue of attachment. On the one hand, successful parenting requires that we love our children, and most of us love in a very attached way. On the other hand, it also requires that we let go of our children at the appropriate times, which means we must practice some level of nonattachment. Many parents find this difficult because we love our children fiercely, more than we will ever love anyone, and this can cause us to overstep our bounds with them as their independence grows. Yet truly loving them requires that we set them free.

Attachment to outcome is perhaps the greatest obstacle on the parenting path, and the one that teaches us the most about the importance of practicing nonattachment. We commonly perceive our children to be extensions of ourselves, imagining that we know what's best for them, but our children are people in their own right with their own paths to follow in this world. They may be called to move in directions we fear, don't respect, or don't understand, yet we must let them go. This letting go happens gradually throughout our lives with our children until we finally honor them as fully grown adults who no longer require our guidance. At this point, it is important that we treat them as peers who may or may not seek our input into their lives. This allows them, and us, to fully realize the greatest gift parents can offer their offspring -independence.

Letting go in any area of life requires a deep trust in the universe, in the overall meaning and purpose of existence. Remembering that there is more to us and our children than meets the eye can help us practice nonattachment, even when we feel overwhelmed by concern and the desire to interfere. We are all souls making our way in the world and making our way, ultimately, back to the same source. This can be our mantra as we let our children go in peace and confidence.

I've had this in my mailbox for a while. I am posting it here for my own reference, but I do believe there are a few of my 360 friends who will appreciate what it has to say.

Your Allies On Life's Journey
Finding Your Tribe