~° Tint's posts with tag: fun
 I love this cartoon. The art in these cartoons is simple, cleverly done, and attractive. Click on the cartoon for more of the same.
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people
Note: This one is NOT funny. Apologies to all chickens in present company
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
similar to my character lines
I needed the laugh this morning. Hope these gave you a chuckle. I thought they were rather good. The photo is of my rosemary in flower. I think I'm off to visit it now : )
 And, no, I am not translating! hahaha! Apologies for the... uh... language ; ) Vee Neck
Gatiepie loop Meraai raak.
"En nou Meraai, die wit v-nek jersey?"
"Die v staan vir virgin, maar moenie worry nie, dis 'n ou jersey!"
Innie Court
Regter: Hoe kan jy onskuldig pleit as 5 mense jou sien steel het?
Gatiep: Djou Honour, ek kan thousands bring wat my nie gesien steel het nie.
Gatiep se Voicemail
My bra, Gatiep is nie available nie.
Los djou naam en nomma en ek stuur vir djou a "please call me".
Gatiep innie skool
Juffrou vra vir Gatiep: Jou ma het 4 aartappels, julle is 9 kinders,
hoeveel aartappels gaan elkeen kry?
Gatiep: My ma's nie 'n p@eph@l nie, sy maak mash!
Die tou
Gatiep sleep 'n tou die straat af en loop verby Maraai.
Maraai sê vir Gatiep, Hoekom sleep jy die tou?
Gatiep sê, want as ek hom stoot val ek die heel tyd oor hom.
The one and only
Gammat word aangekla dat hy vir Meraai 'n BIETS genoem het.
Tydens kruisverhoor sê Gammat, 'Djy't da' boe oppie balcony gastaan,
en ek da' onner innie straat.'
'Ja,' sê Meraai.
'Daar was mos baie mense by djou oppie balcony,' sê Gammat.
'Ja,' sê Meraai.
"Nou hoe wiet djy dan ek het met djou gapraat?'
'Omlat ek die enigste BIETS daar was,' sê Meraai.
Selle ou storie
Die Regter kyk vir Gammat in die oog en sê:
'Dis nou die 6de jaar na mekaar dat jy in my hof in die beskuldigdebank staan.
''Djou honour,' sê Gammat, 'moenie vir my blame omlat jy nie promotion kan kry nie.'
Massa
Juffrou vra vir Gatiep om sinne te maak met "gewig" en "massa". Gatiep se antwoord:
My pa sê vir my ma, "Djy moet gewig veloer djou vetgat".
Dan sê my ma, "Djou massa moer!"
 This morning, shortly after we got up, Jorge said to Tatiana, "Oh, Ana called for you." Startled, Tat answered, "Who's Ana?" "How must I know? Call her anyway," he replied, handing her the piece of paper with the name and number. Tat ambled over to the phone. "Ugh! Mom! Look at this!" She pointed to the name, 'Ana Conda'. "That is probably just your dad's idea of a joke," I said. "Call her anyway." Tat is a good girl and listens to her parents.... sometimes. She called... I tried hard now to remember her reaction, but Tat suggested that it wasn't repeatable. It went along the lines of... "Argh! What the.... DAD!!" Yes, that was a more simplistic version. Why all the fuss? The number was to the local zoo. Naturally. Where else would Ana Conda live?
Ok, no smarmy comments about the photo! It is disgusting. I was lamenting to Tat last night that I shied away from cameras for so many years, we have few photos of the two of us having any form of fun or bonding time. Add to that the fact that I'm usually the one behind the camera.  A few days ago, Tat was going through her wardrobe, sorting the clothes between keepers, donation, and tossing. She unearthed her old swimming cap and goggles (both regulation swimming items here).... if you can find a swimming pool. We were already laughing over the trying on of some really old out-grown clothes. I took the cap and goggles and... well.... Tat decided it was photo-worthy. I look gross, but the memories are good : )
Last night, Tat and I decided we were going to try Pilates. We survived the first 14 minutes, with me huffing and puffing, red faced, falling all over the show (I have no balance whatsoever and even less flexibility), but yes, we survived.... Tat survived rather more gracefully than I did. Our torturer then told us to lie down on a mat. Well... we only have one mat between the two of us. I had a good idea of what was coming next, so I said.... let's turn it sideways and share. Good idea! Then we had the problem of how to watch the screen while prostrating ourselves on the floor. We decided to watch first, then, if humanly possible, do the movement, while listening to her instructions. The space on the floor here barely fit the two of us side by side. The computer screen way up there out of sight. The %*$# woman wanted us to lift our heads and shoulders off the floor, and while keeping those in the air, we had to lift our legs... one directly in front and the other up in the air... straight too, mind you! She then started scissoring her legs, still with her shoulders off the ground, both legs straight as pins and never touching the ground. She knocked herself on the nose with her shins every time!! Methinks she wasn't made of plain ol' rubber, but of silicone! Ok, so we lose nothing by trying. I have no idea what happened next. Tat was on the floor on her part of the mat. I looked out the window and said, "Omg, the neighbour's window is open!" Tat looked over her knees, which were, by now, in the air (she is so good!). I just packed up laughing.... and laughed and laughed. My belly ached, I laughed so hard. Tat started laughing. The in-the-air legs were soon banished. There was no helping it. I had the giggles... no... I had the *caps lock* giggles. The tears were streaming. Tat kept stopping laughing and giving me a serious look to stop me laughing. It made me laugh harder. It was as though a mechanism was triggered that couldn't be untriggered. We never did get further into that workout. Needless to say, the idea of Pilates has been scrapped until I can learn to stand on one leg and wrap the other around my head....
Tonight, we'll do a workout called, "The hotpants workout." Makes you wonder, huh? It is a dance workout. You work out, rather vigorously, while dancing. There is a guy doing it with 4 slinky looking women around him. Good cardio stuff that, and fun. Now I just need to figure out which is my left leg and which is my right. We should get this right... right? Hey... I'm working out... what more do they want?
 | Elbows | Aug 7, '07 2:39 PM
for everyone |
Jorge and Tat playing the fool Import.flv (3.3 MB)
- I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.Tomorrow is not looking good either.
- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
- Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
- Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
- My reality check bounced.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
- I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
- You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
- Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
- Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
- Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
- Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
- After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
- The more *** you put up with, the more *** you are going to get.
- You can go anywhere you want, if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
- When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
- Following the rules will not get the job done.
- When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
Unavoidable Law of Life When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)
A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)
When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of ichiban)
Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)
When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits law)
If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)
Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (Einstein's law of persistence)
You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)
Whenever one wants to connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)
If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of wasteland)
The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of pi eyed)
The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell scoop)
Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of ogolly gee)
Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo. (The donking principle)
After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of fatal irreversibility)
Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you. (Law of de lay)
Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway. (Theory of absolute certainty)
I had an idea. We each have our own little 'laws'. Do add yours in the comments. This should be fun!
And here is an annoying little game for you to play 
Yep, well, I was pretty depressed this morning (in case no one noticed). I then got an alert that someone had commented on the Laurika Rauch video I had uploaded to Youtube. I went to the guy's profile and watched a video of his, then got sidetracked by other South African videos. One thing led to another and ALL South African videos have to, at some point, lead to Leon Schuster! I am actually surprised that Leon Schuster is still alive. He has mocked every institution and public figure in South Africa, bar none... no one is sacred, regardless of race, colour, age, status and in SA, that is a dangerous thing. Thing is, the victim always laughs... you can't help it. This guy is funny. So, without further ado, I give you Leon Schuster and the Rookie firemen. I'm laughing so hard, the tears are streaming...
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